Statue of Puberty

Yesss, my brother and bhabhi are proud parents of a healthy baby girl. Both mum and baby are doing just fine. This easily is the happiest thing that has happened for a long long time. God bless!

Mannn … I can’t wait to buy tiny baby clothes (and shoes) for my niece (ah! just to say my niece is such a world of joy)

Dhammal .. before I get too senti .. lemme get my ass to the hospital ….

More updates to come by …

Dudes, dudettes, respected married folk and Iyer,

Once again, it’s that time of the year when the drunken masters and lords of the land get together and make merry. This year though, with wayside commitments from a bulk of the community (and innocent kids getting married), our plans have taken a drifter into older habits (So no Matheran).

Nandanvan (now available on wikimapia.com), is proud to host a New Years party (don’t ask stupid questions like “when is it?” – they will not be entertained). This party promises to bring back the glory days of the late 90’s where new year parties in Nandanvan were a crazy botch. This time round we’re planning a theme event, the title of which will be announced soon (along the lines of something like a Sholay theme, where each of us gets to play a character in the movie and dress and behave in that manner thru’ the party – imagine Iyer playing Thakur with a shawl on his butt and Bird doing a Samba on t-top).

All other party elements – raunchy music, slurpy food, drinks in plastic bags and lighting (dance floor mayhem) are being worked out and we should find ourselves in trouble with the law in 7 days time.

Hope to see you all soon … you know where I live

Tootle for now

For someone to be placed in the “…busier than a page 3 socialite…” category and to top it, have it published in a business paper, it takes quite some beating (or at least upto the point of having Income Tax professionals shun into their houses).

Yes quite right, I’m in the news folks. Priyanka Joshi (not related to Apoo) from Business Standard chatted up with me over the week (last) and put me in the tabloid.

BTW, the page 3 part had me doing flips. I was down and out with tummy cramps when I read the article. A bit of a history, the friend’s mom I was talking about there is Apoo’s mum, but she was more than nice to us during the time. It was Apoo au contraire who would bully us because of his size (huge kid).

I went home with a smile the day I saw the article …. well, here’s to small fame (and glorifying it on my blog) <- I was raising a toast to meself there in case you missed it (read: stupid)

http://www.business-standard.com/common/storypage_supp.php?autono=265172&leftnm=2&subLeft=0&chkFlg=Features

and

http://www.rediff.com/money/2006/nov/18spec1.htm

or just google me (how besharam can I get!)

For those of you who despise URLs ….

“With the release of the Sony PlayStation 3 (PS3), things can only get better,” exults another gamer, Abhijeet Kunder. For this 27-year-old, gaming began at “a friend’s house”. Kunder was 10 years old when he picked up his first console.

“There were days I used to be holed up at my friend’s place for hours playing console games.” It was only when his friend’s mother told them to get out and get a life that he realised that he was hooked on to games.

Working now with Hewitt Associates in Mumbai, Kunder’s off-hours are busier than a Page 3 socialite. “I run gaming communities, LAN groups and have seen a steady escalation in terms of participants and game penetration,” he says.

I’m ganja now … my folks refused to take me in last night, following this crude act of violence …

and no … won’t post pics till my “kesh” decides to grow up

till soon … or till the strands stride up …

This is the story, of a boy named Apoorva Joshi.
This boy played good fair cricket
Mastered the art of swing bowling when he was very young
Soon became the captain of Nandanvan Cricket Board
His passion and love for the sport bore no bounds

Apoo was a class apart
He wore his favourite chadds and hit the grounds
He made sure he gave everything to his team
Including his peculiar bowling style
(for the rest of the world to laugh, most would agree)
But it was cute nevertheless

So what was this famous style that carried words and sentences to mighty distances?
Why was it so special that every team in the block wanted to play with us?
(not because we lost so often, we’re sure)
Why was it that we had sugandi devi’s chillar pillar coming over to witness this wonder?
Why was it that audiences from across the border were onlookers for this wondrous nature’s yell?

Well hell yea … our boy Apoorva Joshi had the style …
His bowling style dictated amassing auras of chronic nature’s calls
Apoo would start with a normal run-up, pass the umpire and head towards the crease
And then would exhibit the most natural of stances a doggie would take when he’s gotta leak

Yes, Apoo does a doggie pee
He gets his leg up and pauses for a century
God knows why it stays for so long
Ah well, I figure it’s for me to blog on

There are no two words to describe this call
The batsman’s wondering where’s the ball
The keeper, his fielders are waiting so
But Apoo, well he won’t let go

God, there were times when we were playing underarm cricket and we thought Apoo would still get that leg up … We used to think we didn’t water the pitch enough and Apoo was showing his noble gestures.

His legs went up we thought he’d spray
But we knew one day he had to pray

I know this brings the same amount of joy and glee as any other Apoo bashing story.

But trust me … you had to be there … maybe we’ll make him bowl/spray for us again though.

An Ode to Apoo

Doggie: Worf …
Doggie: worf …
Doggie: rrowww brrrowww
Apoo: arrghhh …
Apoo: huff …
Apoo: huff …
Sound effects: Budoosh digdradaadam dooosh …
Aunty 2: Sorry
Apoo: poink … (getting up and falling back down on butt)
Doggie: rrrowww … rrooowww …
Doggie: Karchhh .. arrrhhhg … broowwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Apoo: huff …. Huff
(10 second silence)
Junta: moohahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Junta: bruhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Long long time ago, on the pavements of S.V Road, opposite Happy Restaurant next to macho age old mochi waala (Nandanvan’s family cobbler) and Spenta/Yankee Doodle (now Brrrista), we came upon this famed legend known to most brethren world over, Apoo and his fear for canines.

the story …

For reasons known only to a few, we were incredibly religious back in our teens. We religiously followed up on the practice of eating Prasad at the Hanuman Mandir (temple) every day after play. And this one day was no exception. This legendary misfortune to the one, came about as one of the most hilarious of live events in the amassing scale of our nanguys journals (the monkey incident was pre-planned … bakshi, pals and the monkey had ties … some say. And besides farro and me were hapless but unhurt victims there. Hence we may not deem them to be hilarious).

So we go for our rounds around the temple and the deity, finish with the same and proceed towards Prasad, pick, eat, wear our footwear and move towards home. This journey back home, which usually lasts about 10 mins of slow walking, took Apoo precisely 15 seconds of extreme scuttling.

Lets flash back to the set of events that unfolded … as was … no cookups … some may argue on the minor detailing going here … but the essence of the story remains, I say …

Scene: Bakshi and Anna (weird combination, I know) are leading the pack after a successful mission at the temple. A group of 7-8 lookhas almost walking in a bunch is what it looks like to the common man (not visually impaired). Bird is still hooked onto his recurring dream of jumping out of his balcony, I am busy beating up Pals, Farro’s combing his hair, Apoo is in the midst doing nothing (little did he know that he would be in the thick of things). Mask and Dada are as usual and contemplating defeating each other in carrom by gassing each other out. Sthalu is trying to help me beat Pals up, but instead is getting the brunt of the shelling from Pals’ recently acquired Taekwondo skills. There is a Fiat (Premiere Padmini) parked besides the macho age old mochi walla (important point).

This lady (Aunty 1) is walking her white Gujarati Pomeranian on that same road. And as innate and ordered chaos prevails, it spots Apoo not doing much (Anna and Bakshi are also not doing a great deal, but for some reason doggie chooses to spare them … and besides you can’t really picture them being at the receiving end by a doggie). And the dog charges at Apoo. Our jhund (group), almost as though planned to act, vaccumizes the space around Apoo with the primary intention of making the line of sight clear (assuming the doggie had already smelt his victim) for the doggie. The rest is history!!

It took us a whole week to stop cracking up on the issue (till we found someone else to crap on, I think).

The funny part now in pseudo code form:

1: Doggie smells Apoo
2: Apoo feels doggie’s presence
3: Group feels tension and expands to form a circle around Apoo
4: Doggie spots Apoo
5: Apoo spots doggie (and blood and gore and teeth and claws and other elements)
6: Doggie charges at Apoo
7: Apoo runs
8: Doggie wanna hurt Apoo
9: Apoo no wanna be hurt
10: Doggie lets loose of leash
11: Aunty 1 shouts “no doggie (use doggie name instead)”
12: Doggie no listen
13: Aunty 1 says “don’t run, he will bite”
14: Apoo: “yea rite … pant huff”
15: Doggie: “Worf … worf”
16. Group: “harhaharrr”
17: Apoo runs toward macho age old mochi walla (on the pavement)
18. Aunty 2 in Fiat opens door to step out of car
19: Apoo hits car door
20: Budoosh digdradaadam dooosh …
21. Doggie still wanna hurt Apoo
22. Apoo still don’t wanna be hurt by doggie
23. Aunty 2: “sorry”
24: Apoo gets up faster than anything/one has ever done so
25: Doggie no empathize
26: Doggie almost rips into Apoo
27: Apoo runs across cars and traffic, reaches Vishnu Baug gate and disappears
28: Doggie punches paws on ground
29: Group still on floor laughing off each other’s asses
30: Doggie comes back to owner and starts the walk all over again.
31: No sign of Apoo for 2 days
32: Group still on floor, 7 days from the date of the event

My gift to Apoo before I left Charlotte (although this doesn’t look anywhere close to what that Gujju doggie looked like)

Why this gift (note: the doggie here is doing pee-pee) was apt for Apoo is a different story altogether … I’ll only post the same if Apoo permits me to do so.

Back in Mumbai … aaaah the sweet smell of home …

more … soon … still waiting for one bag to come from Amsterdam … sob

I know this has been long due here, I put my posts on Ryze and just slipped across with work … so anyways, here goes …

For those who don’t know her (or for that matter, this particular case). Rashmi is the editor and publisher of JAM magazine and she (her mag actually) recently exposed IIPM’s “tall claims” (online version). She’s had a blog which she’s been running for a very long time and she also has linked in to this case with “Lies, damned lies and fake blogs”.

The story that’s unfolded ever since has been nothing short of entertaining. With IIPM students barging up on her and throwing nasty personal attacks to which we found her blog followers to respond and go beyond just defending her. It’s been chaotic and defined entertainment to some.

As these snapshot of events unfolded, Gaurav Sabnis an IIM grad working with IBM (and doing fantastically well there, I’m told), linked one of Rashmi’s articles on his personal blog and unfortunately invited upon himself a legal notice alongside Rashmi (and JAM).

Blogrolling can sometimes be dangerous … but Gaurav’s a cool and smart dude … he laughs on to this episode

Gaurav BTW quit his job at IBM for the simple reason that IIPM threatened the Lenovo/IBM management to burn all their Thinkpad Lappies in front of the IBM Delhi office. Now how childish is that?

Gaurav quit despite the fact that his employers were never in favour of the same. He just didn’t want IBM’s well being and good name taking the wrong turn for the wrong reasons.

Salutes to you Gaurav … (although some would call his decision rash … I perfectly concur with him)

His last line in that post, marks his stand and portrays his character right thru’ “Remember, truth never hurts those who are right”

And don’t worry bout him getting a new job. He’s IIM (and not II..)

Do read thru Rashmi’s post … some of the comments are hilarious … although some slam her down like crazy too … this entire episode cracks me up and also says so much? (no pun intended) about IIPM. It surely is their reaction that’s putting them down even further.

I know this should have been put long back, I’ve been terribly pressed for work. But, I want one of my own lawsuits too man.

Anyways, I don’t mean to ridicule anyone here (I may not have all the facts) but the reactions say it all.

ADDITIONS:

CNB’s blog – http://www.livejournal.com/users/freegeek/159378.html

Ketan Pandit’s Blog – http://aloud-thinking.blogspot.com

Satish Vijaykumar’s Blog - http://www.bombaylives.blogspot.com

Sambhar Mafia’s Blog – http://sambharmafia.blogspot.com


UPDATES:

IIPM’s Ads:
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-1163051,curpg-1.cms

And another blogger slapped legal summons by IIPM:
http://absurdiav.blogspot.com/2005/10/yet-another-legal-notice.html

NDTV to cover??:
http://www.desipundit.com/2005/10/13/ndtv-to-cover-iipm-fracas-tonight/

Article on NDTV:
http://www.ndtv.com/morenews/showmorestory.asp?category…

Hilarious Spam Blog:
http://weloveiipm.blogspot.com/

DNA coverage:
http://dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=6136&CatID=5

Sambhar Mafia’s update

Puneet accuses IIPM of spamming Google, Yahoo and MSN search engines. He also has screenshots to prove his claim

Arzan probes about IIPM’s Toronto connection and Belgian alliance. Curious Gawker also manages to throw some light on the web of alliances surrounding IMI.

Kiruba designs some “Support Buttons” for us to show our support for Gaurav and Rashmi

In a bizarre turn of events, the selection committee named God as India’s next probable captain. After serious deliberations on the current hotchpotch between Greg Chappell and Saurav Ganguly, the committee unanimously echoed a truce and waved white flags (released ‘white’ doves on both sides etc.) and decided to suspend the latter‘s team credit cards (so no more “assumed private visits” to Nagma land for Dada, unless he gets hooked onto a TV commercial OR is funded by his wife). Mr. Chappell was also allowed to continue with due warning that he could no longer send emails to anyone on the board (despite the fact that he had nothing to do with the email leak, tells a lot about our management and their technology skills). A system admin will now monitor all outbound mails coming from Chappell’s account(s).

In a separate incident, the Bureau of Prevention and Detection of Email Forwards reprimanded the Chairman of BCCI, Mr. Jagmohan Dalmiya and remitted him to Delhi Cyber Crime Squad (yes it exists!!). The news on air was that Mr. Dalmiya apparently was pleading not guilty with due claims of a crude-techno-psychological gumball that has apparently been inside his head for the better part of his life. This, to his defense will mean that he was not thinking when he hit the forward button (that also explains a better part of what he’s been doing all this time in the Cricketing world). Some other reports say that he has always been a spammer, with members of the board getting his chain mails (”Click this link to earn $100000″, “Click here to visit Tarannum” and the likes).

Moving ahead … with the Dada b/s (versus) Chappell news flowing all over bangla channels and newspapers. Despite this, West Bengal was surprisingly quiet and sobered down with only incidents spanning burning down of Chappell effigies/pictures, stone throwing at the Australian Consulate and some Anglo-Indian homes (apparently they’re still clueless where Chappell came from), some morchas (processions) with “Chaulbe Na” (This Won’t Do) cries and banners.

By the bay, if anybun baunts to join the morcha, do note down the timings: Breakfaast – 10:00 AM to 11:00 AM followed by the briefing on how to auppear busy. Then lunch at 12:00 PM followed by the 3 hour nap. Restart the morcha at 3:00 PM and shut down shop at 4:00 to retire for the day. Contact anybun in the city for this info, he/she bill know bhere the next session will be. There aupparently is a bangla bebsite for searching, seeking and aupplying for these morchas. The pre-requisites to aupply include the phonetic adjustment and usage of “b” instead of “v” in daily diction and the aubility to eat liquids or at least claim that you eat it and not drink it.

(I’ve always wondered this one thing bout Bongs. Bengal must have come about as a direct result of their inability/reluctance to pronounce “V”. So was Bengal originally Vengal?). Anyways, coming back to the topic and point, Kolkata is relatively mild mannered in this entire fiasco. It’s lazed chaotic morchas, stone throwing, and effigy burning as usual in Bengal.

Of course, with news of the truce hitting the air (and all Bangla channels) things have gone back to where it was originally (i.e. lazed chaotic morchas, stone throwing, and effigy burning as it usually is in Bengal)

As for why God was being speculated as the next Indian captain, well it goes without saying … only He can save us now. The team’s been playing crappy all this time anyways. Now we have a coach, a captain and their unmarked love for each other, which we all know for sure is gonna further pull down the psyche of this already hurried up team. With whackos like Harbhajan Singh, who BTW doesn’t know his mother from his dog (harsh words used by my boss thrown at Manish JP – our network admin – these words still remain fresh in my head for some reason) and Ashish Nehra, who quite frankly is a true waste of talent and his own time (and he stands as his own culprit and admits it too, yes he’s gonna tell us that he’s stupid … Oh wait … he’s injured again, slipped in the bath and broke his collar bone .. I guess next time then). Both these “items” have time and again shown that their wonderful skills on the ground have always gone hand-in-hand (or mouth) with their fouled mouths. Learn to respect your team you nitwits, and that’s a sincere request.

Dravid is the pauper in this entire ordeal and he will soon unfortunately take over the role of India’s “scapegoat” for all bashing. But I still maintain, give God a chance to lead.

God save these men and Indian cricket

PS: On second thoughts, maybe we should put Dalmiya in the bootcamp and make him lead the team as punishment to his spam/chain mail. Ganguly anyways didnt really perform. Isn’t too much different from this person who doesn’t know which side of the bat to hold while batting. And plus we won’t have no spam nomore from this dude eh, ain’t that something!!

Imagine this …

Near Future addons for Google Talk: Speculations on their launch of PC-to-Phone capability with their tie ups with Gizmo Project and also with the incorporation of directory services (these are my thoughts) using their own search engine.

Case:
1. You want to book a room in Goa without the hassles of having middle tiers (travel agencies and the likes) to eat up the commisions.
2. You open up Google Talk
3. Search for your favorite group of hotels (or just search for any damn hotel in Goa)
4. Call the numbers displayed on the screen against a full fledged description of the hotel with pics
5. You make your calls based on your choice (of course, but perhaps we’ll also have reviews and star ratings, now that’d be nice)
6 . Add them to your address book (if you want to)
7. Alternatively use your cellphones to connect to you PC via a USB bluetooth telephony device (something similar to this will become common grounds very soon) that supports connecting to SIP protocols (and the newer VOIP protocols) and thereafter make calls directly from your cellphone with to n fro transfer of address book and related data.

Note: You may choose to replace Calling Hotels in Goa with anything else which might seem the need of the hour (viz. Pizzas, Movie Tickets, Home service barber among a crazy billion others)

Just a thought …