Statue of Puberty

Very few posts on blogs actually go to the extent of describing your dear buddies. This unfortunately is one such post. I hate to admit it, but Baangd (OR “The Baangd”) often marks himself as the star-crossed court jester who knowingly goes to all extents of humane sacrifices to submit himself to the appeasement of his fellow beings (i.e. we, the underminers)

The Baangd, Vital Stats:
Height: 5′6” (approx … we think)
Weight: unmeasureable
Shape: Generally round (all over)
Distinctive appeal: looks like a Stuffed teddy/toy, sometimes sports a rose over his left ear

After the rains, we came across this hidious conversation on gmail … a mail titled “Alive……………………………..i had to do this………OTS”, after which you will find a factual fiction(al) tale of a typical nite at CT (Coastal Treat), so here goes …

Baangd: Inspite of many buffoloes dying in the floods, I managed to excape and live my life.
Paro: sud we consider this as ur good look or our bad luck?
Baangd: good look?
(long pause … 2 days … no net)
Alap: wat a fundoo conversation
(short pause … 1 day … lazy oafs)
Baangd: people, inputs pls
Iyer: i think rains have washed off the original text from the mails of both baangdu and paras…
the original mail still lies in the safe vaults of their sent items
Abhi: Are we meeting @ CT tonite?
Bird: Yes
Iyer: tumlog kyu karte ho yaar aisa (IOW, wimps & cries) mujhe kal belapur jaana hai
Paro: I won’t eat, it’s Saturday
Baangd: I like aunties …… OTS
Alap: wat a fundoo conversation
Abhi: Define “fundoo”
Iyer: (wimps & cries)
Bird: I hate my boss
Paro: Lets go for a drive
Alap: I have to go do tatti
Bird: Prawns pepper garlic kidar hai?
Alap: I’m alergic to prawns
Iyer: (Imitates Sanjeev Kumar) Yeh jo chaand hai na …. …. …. woh din mein …
Alap: hahaaa
Abhi: hahaaa
Paro: teheehe
Bird: (smirk)
Baangd: (burps) ….. tehehee OTS

(Mannu & Andy enter)

Mannu: Bhaiyalog .. kaisa hai … (hugs all around)
Mannu: Ahhh food!!!
Andy: Chal, lets go to boat club
Iyer: kya yaar tumlog kyu karte ho aisa (wimps)
Alap: Mujhe tatti aa rah hai
Bird: These prawns are stale
Baangd: I like chemical brothers … teheeh OTS
Fat Uncle on the side (pointing at abhi and/or bird): I know you
Bird: I hate my boss
Abhi: (to waiter … hand signalling a repeat)
Iyer: I want port wine
Andy: Aee humlog Goa jaate hai yaar
Baangd: teheehe OTS
Iyer: (wimps & cries)
Alap: be back after tatti
Mannu: (to waiter) … do plate tangdi kabab
Fat Uncle on the side: I hate my boss too (… and Bird and uncle hit off)
Paro: Lets go for a drive
Andy: Aee humlog Singapore jaate hai yaar
Baangd: I was fooled to buy unbranded orange sanitary napkins in a plastic bag for 200 bucks … OTS
Paro: Arey tuney woh Ad dekha … kya fundoo tha woh
Bird: (why don’t I have a screen guard for my PDA yet?)
Alap: (after tatti … to waiter) do plate bombil fry
Iyer: Ae mein ghar jaa rah hoon yaar
Alap: chup bait biatch … sit ..
Abhi: (slaps iyer)
Mannu: Ae NT Rama Rao
Iyer: abey Nishiganda Waad
Mannu: Ae Prabhu Deva
Iyer abey Suresh Wadkar
Krupal: Aee Maaunt Everaist (naah … krupal wasn’t there … but i had to put this man …)
Baangd: OTS
Alap: (to waiter) … do aur bombil fry aur ek chicken manchow soup, one by two
Baangd: I’m not having soup
Alap: Biatch, the quantity is more when we order one-by-two
Baangd: Oh oki … OTS .. tehehee … sorry (burp)
Mannu: Chal beach jaate hai
Abhi: Chal
Iyer: Tumlog kyu karte ho yaar aisa (wimps)
Alap: Lemme finish this man
Andy: Chal Ontoes jaate hai
Baangd: (burp) .. OTS
Paro: Mein ghar jaa rah hoon
Bird: (on phone) Aayi Mee yeto, Khalits Aai, Abhijeet Barobar
Bird: (on phone) Khalits hai Aayi
Baangd: tehehee
Abhi: Ae bird chal re beach jaate hai
Bird: Nahi re late ho gaya
Iyer: Mujhe bhi ..
Alap: Shut up biatch
Baand: tehehee
Alap: oki i need to go do tatti
Abhi: (to waiter) Bill
Baangd: (burp) … OTS

Glossary of terms used:
CT: Coastal Treat (our hub)
OTS: One toight slap
(burp): burp
biatch: bitch
tatti: shit
krupal: guest appearance (no other description available)